Tag: #loss
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Difficult Days Ahead
Since Monty was killed, every day has been difficult. At night in my bed, I surround myself with pillows to mask the emptiness. When I wake up, I force myself to begin my morning routine which is very different. It used to be getting gently awakened by Monty with a cup of coffee in his…
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Seasons of Life
Before I became a widow, I looked forward to the seasons. Spring brought a sense of newness, summer created a desire to break away and get near water, autumn was a reminder that things need to be shed and the cycle of life continues, and winter was the beginning of the holiday season—family, friends, and…
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Two Became One . . . becomes One
I married my best friend in autumn—two became one. Finding my true love and then tragically losing him literally crushed my heart and weighed down my soul. My deep love for him created this very deep grief that doesn’t go away; it’s not something I will ever get over or move on from. Grief is…
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Grief and Anger
Anger is stage two, according to the five stages of grief. Widows know that there are no stages but rather a flurry of emotions that occur all at once or independently and repeat randomly. Anger can be difficult to deal with. It can cause us to be snarky and rude or to isolate ourselves, which…
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Life After Love
The loss of a beloved partner is devasting and when my husband, Monty, was killed I wanted answers. Almost two years later, the answer to my initial question of “WHY?” is still elusive and I have many more questions that may not be answered on my current journey. After the widow’s fog lifted a little…
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Tears Still Fall
“She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum.”― Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything is Illuminated Mastering sadness was never a goal of mine. I avoided things that made me cry, made me feel uncomfortable,…
Pieces of a Widow 