Category: Uncategorized
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Difficult Days Ahead
Since Monty was killed, every day has been difficult. At night in my bed, I surround myself with pillows to mask the emptiness. When I wake up, I force myself to begin my morning routine which is very different. It used to be getting gently awakened by Monty with a cup of coffee in his…
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Seasons of Life
Before I became a widow, I looked forward to the seasons. Spring brought a sense of newness, summer created a desire to break away and get near water, autumn was a reminder that things need to be shed and the cycle of life continues, and winter was the beginning of the holiday season—family, friends, and…
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Two Became One . . . becomes One
I married my best friend in autumn—two became one. Finding my true love and then tragically losing him literally crushed my heart and weighed down my soul. My deep love for him created this very deep grief that doesn’t go away; it’s not something I will ever get over or move on from. Grief is…
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Grief and Anger
Anger is stage two, according to the five stages of grief. Widows know that there are no stages but rather a flurry of emotions that occur all at once or independently and repeat randomly. Anger can be difficult to deal with. It can cause us to be snarky and rude or to isolate ourselves, which…
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Uncomfortable Grief
Grief is something that widows live with and it is also what makes everyone around us uncomfortable. The reality of grief is that it’s permanent; it’s not something we get over or outgrow. Grief exists near the surface of life and can erupt at any moment in tears, laughter, or anger. Managing grief becomes a…
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What Grief is to Me
Grief is difficult to define and very difficult for widows to comprehend. Psychology Today uses two phases to describe grief – “Acute grief is short-term and complicated grief which is prolonged, lasting months or years. Without help and support, such grief can lead to isolation and chronic loneliness”. Widowhood is definitely complicated grief. The world…
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Loneliness and Solitude
Loneliness – empty, silent, depressing, unwelcome Solitude – peaceful, thought-provoking, nourishing, welcome Being alone during that first year of grief was frightening. I dreaded hearing nothing and feeling everything. In the aloneness I was so aware of my devastating loss and how Monty wasn’t coming back. I hated it! So, I filled my days with…
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Life After Love
The loss of a beloved partner is devasting and when my husband, Monty, was killed I wanted answers. Almost two years later, the answer to my initial question of “WHY?” is still elusive and I have many more questions that may not be answered on my current journey. After the widow’s fog lifted a little…
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The New Year Through a Widow’s Lens
Celebrating during the holiday season is very difficult for widows. Welcoming a new year without our loved ones is daunting. Our reflections and resolutions are more about surviving than succeeding. We need to give ourselves time to heal for however long that takes. “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree.…
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I will always remember you . . .
I remember when I first saw you. I entered the conference room and there you were, smiling, at the head of the table. You were so handsome. When you told the joke about the fox guarding the hen house, we were the only ones who laughed out loud. I remember how later that day while…
Pieces of a Widow 